Paradox

Me,the hidden paradox
a lamb behind a fox

Sorrows hidden behind my smiles
Reality behind my superficiality

I am not true but I feign
I am not joyful but in pain

My tears behind my eyes
My shrieks behind my sighs

My hopelessness behind my hopes
My willingness behind my "No's"

My liveliness is thus just a show
Who has seen my heart full of woe

'Shiny eye' is the tear
which I have not shed

'Quiteness' is the word
which I have not said

Feelings freeze when pouring out
I'm weak seemingly stout

Loneliness in the crowd
regret behind being proud

Things affect,when unaffected
words pierce,when shielded

Moments sink,when they float
Memories close,when remote

Me, the hidden paradox
trudging behind my walks.

...

I miss you so much this afternoon,
I miss the frog shaped mug on your table,
the bowl of enchanting jasmine flowers,
and the soft-board adorned with cards.

I miss getting absorbed
in all those things.
I miss being tongue-tied
when I had to say a lot.
I miss seeing you busy all
the time.
I miss seeing you speaking
on the phone,
I miss your smiles,
I miss your angry tone.

I miss you so much
this afternoon.

Twilights

Fits of loneliness,
capture me entirely,
my heart sinks,
as the frail sun goes down.

I shatter to pieces,
as the diminishing light,
scatters on the horizon.

Then I remember the time,
when the the sun went down,
light scattered on the horizon,
heart leapt with joy.
I had fits of happiness,
those twilights when
we talked.

Midnight Silence

I clutch the hand of midnight silence
and get my spirit lit,with beautiful thoughts.
I grapple my descending spirit,
with fantasies of beautiful words.

My fears are overcome,
by opening the beautiful
eyes of imagination,
in the secret world of
my own.

I ascend to the infinite height,
descends the weight of worldliness,
I see with the sight of beautiful colours,
mingled with lights and hopes,
the beautiful world-less world

hard to speak
and hard to hide
what is it that
I cannot say?

You'll Be There

Colours may fade,
luck may lose track,
steps may go the other way,
in my thoughts,
you'll always stay.

Nostalgic Rains

I'd jump so high,
I'd go round and round,
scattering my hair,
feeling every drop of rain,
on my hands and on
my prancing bare feet.

I'd look at the skies,
rub the droplets off my eyes,
I'd smile,I'd giggle
and I'd smile again!

I'd dream the dreams,
I'd scream the screams.

I'd taste the rain,
sweet salty rain,
I'd make a cup of tea,
or a mug of frothy coffee.

I'd hum songs,
or tunes that came from
nowhere!

I'd jump so high,
feeling every drop of rain.
And today,
all I feel is pain.
A bittersweet pain.

three lines

I shed tears of laughter,
and smiles of sorrow.
Wouldn't I see a better tomorrow?

Connections

Sometimes I want to find connections,
I touch the things that you might have touched,
I remember the words you might have said,
I read your older mails over and over again,
just to feel connected,
just to feel you when you aren't there.

Yesterday the scent of a soap made me nostalgic,
isn't that the scent I sensed when you were there?

I find you in colours,I find you in numbers
Isn't this the colour you wore that day?
Isn't this number somewhat like the
one your number-plate had?

I wrap up my wonderings by a single thought,
You're not faraway,I haven't lost you.
You're in the connections I made with you.