If the world was sublime,
untrue,magical and dreamy!

If there were souls,
And nobody to imprison them,

Imprison in those brick walls
from which
I so yearn to break-free!

Prisons that actually don't exist,
prisons that I cannot touch,
but the prisons that I feel.

If freedom would replace cash
and happiness would be freedom

If I had that road to skate on;
and no signals, no cars, no end,
no red lights!

If food wasn't a need
If shelter wasn't required
If we weren't answerable
If we could not hurt,
and could not be hurt.

If life was to go after
what you wanted;
If no one would stop you,
no one would be unhappy.

If we had wings,
no planes and trains!

If happiness was sought in smiles
If the world was sublime,
untrue,magical and dreamy.

Candyman task

It was a strange day. I woke up at eleven, still sleepy but scared of being scolded for getting up so late, I gathered up all my courage to begin the day after my six hour sleep at night.

I looked outside my room window, which opened in the balcony that cleary showed the sky and the houses of the neighbourhood in the opposite lane. It felt as if it was dusk and sun was beginning to set, the cloudy sheet made the usual sunny day look gloomy.

Some guests arriving the next day were expected to stay at our place, and my room was thought to be offered, as it was separate from the main hurly-burly of the house and perfect for guests.

As I heard of guests staying in my room, I had to make it cleaner than I did usually. I dusted the furniture,cleaned my laptop and cleared up all the junk from my drawers.

Today, I decided not to pick a task form the Candyman that I was supposed to choose everyday.Candyman is a round china bowl with a lid on it, and it's full of papers with different tasks on them that I have to pick everyday.

I spent most of the time in my room and went downstairs to press my clothes for a whole week, since my university was to start the coming week and I was excited that I wouldn't be sick wearig a uniform, like I used to do till now. I kept ironing all the clothes with the zest that I didn't expect on a day when I was sleep deprived. Because of standing and pressing around eight suits at one go, I felt my feet burning and I was totally listless after all that ironing. The listlessness continued all day, it felt as if I had a sunstroke.Though, it wasn't a sunstroke, it was surely a heat stroke to stand for hours in the steaming kitchen, where the ironing table stood.

I didn't sleep in the afternoon, and kept dragging myself till the night so I could sleep early and wake up early the next morning. The same night before going to bed, I caught a glance of my Candyman. A sudden urge wanted me to open it right away and pick today's task which I had missed. My eyes shone as I unfolded the paper, it read 'iron as much clothes as you can!'. I surely didn't miss my Candyman task.

I'm smiling
smiling sadly

on everything
I say to you
on everything
I hear

Bizarre,soft,cold,
cute,warm and
friendly
All your words
I'm missing
badly
And I sit here
smiling sadly.

That stir joy in me
so magical are your mails
so enticing are your tales
I'm listening to them
quietely,
and smiling sadly.

Every little little thing
you say to me,
you do for me,
I'm cherishing silently
and smiling sadly.

Taking your name again and
again,
it didn't all go in vain,
gleaming with honeyed
pain,
I sit here smiling sadly.

Your ununderstandable phrases
About unknown places
Are thunders and wonders
Here my imagination surrenders

Bud of hope about to bloom
and the autumn arrives.

I'm more scared of
happiness than of sorrow,
more scared of today
than tomorrow.

I cannot capture what must pass,
I cannot hold what is meant to go.

Happiness deceives
and I'm deceived.

Moment of joy
turns into tears
excitement ends
sleepless night remains

I'm always bewitched by the spell
that breaks too soon.

Life

Smile at your fate
on the life's gait
how's everything in here
hard to leave,hard to bear.

You

I haven't understood you
yet I adore you

I've never missed you
there's something more
that words can't describe to you

Whenever I come to see you
the words I have to say
unheard they sway away
as there weren't any thoughts
for you

I wish to feel everything around you
the aroma of thoughts
the music of voice
I could have done it
If I weren't dazed by you!

Life wasn't dissected before you
now I think of 'life with you'
and the 'life without you'

As days pass and frequently I meet you
I become more aware of you
and the more unaware of you

Eyes can't see the human existing inside
If you could confide in me and I could
confide in you.

Escapist

Hide me somewhere
somewhere in the dark
make me unseen
where should I disappear?

Hide me in my dreams
hide me somewhere
there's no one else
hide me where there's
only me

Hide me from my
recurring thoughts
that hurt day and
night

Make me senseless
for a while
take my pain away
stop me from brooding
over and over

Hide me somewhere
somewhere I cannot feel
somewhere I am not felt
I am not seen,I am not known
make me invisible,make me immune

Hide me somewhere
Somewhere in the dark.

Silence

I sit and stare at the walls,
thinking of you, and
craving for your words

It happens to me every single day
I stare like this,thinking of you,
craving for your words.

Sometimes your words enchant me,
sometimes they hurt
but I can't bear your silence

I blankly stare at the walls
thinking of you
and craving for your words.

...

Let me pour out all my
sorrows at once
don't stop me from
crying today
because it's time
to leave
don't be sad
I'll be happy there.

An unseen world

We two share an unseen world
about it no one hears,it remains so unheard

The world which carries
a blend of happy tears
and spontaneous smiles

the world that winks in hues
the world that sights sparks

In this world we two are awake
relishing the music of soul
dancing to the tunes of ecstasy

This world leads to endless roads of thoughts
never letting us break apart
every road ends on another road
another road meets another
and so on

the world goes on
painting on the canvas of our eyes
incomplete episodes of darling dreams
the dreams we both yearn to be true
yet a fear whispers

'with your dreams coming true
this world might say goodbye'
'

Happy tears

Happy tears
rolled down
on the cheeks

Today
they got to know
they would see someone
they hadn't seen
for weeks

eyes had waited
in silent depth

happy tears
today
strolled down
on the cheeks
they would see
someone
they hadn't seen
for weeks.

Moments

It's the time I relish moments
I live in the wave of feelings

It's the dawn of the new courage
I'm wandering somewhere on
the ecstasy bridge

I see your charming smile
and feel your kind style

Now I don't see the twilight
but the day so bright!

Paradox

Me,the hidden paradox
a lamb behind a fox

Sorrows hidden behind my smiles
Reality behind my superficiality

I am not true but I feign
I am not joyful but in pain

My tears behind my eyes
My shrieks behind my sighs

My hopelessness behind my hopes
My willingness behind my "No's"

My liveliness is thus just a show
Who has seen my heart full of woe

'Shiny eye' is the tear
which I have not shed

'Quiteness' is the word
which I have not said

Feelings freeze when pouring out
I'm weak seemingly stout

Loneliness in the crowd
regret behind being proud

Things affect,when unaffected
words pierce,when shielded

Moments sink,when they float
Memories close,when remote

Me, the hidden paradox
trudging behind my walks.

...

I miss you so much this afternoon,
I miss the frog shaped mug on your table,
the bowl of enchanting jasmine flowers,
and the soft-board adorned with cards.

I miss getting absorbed
in all those things.
I miss being tongue-tied
when I had to say a lot.
I miss seeing you busy all
the time.
I miss seeing you speaking
on the phone,
I miss your smiles,
I miss your angry tone.

I miss you so much
this afternoon.

Twilights

Fits of loneliness,
capture me entirely,
my heart sinks,
as the frail sun goes down.

I shatter to pieces,
as the diminishing light,
scatters on the horizon.

Then I remember the time,
when the the sun went down,
light scattered on the horizon,
heart leapt with joy.
I had fits of happiness,
those twilights when
we talked.

Midnight Silence

I clutch the hand of midnight silence
and get my spirit lit,with beautiful thoughts.
I grapple my descending spirit,
with fantasies of beautiful words.

My fears are overcome,
by opening the beautiful
eyes of imagination,
in the secret world of
my own.

I ascend to the infinite height,
descends the weight of worldliness,
I see with the sight of beautiful colours,
mingled with lights and hopes,
the beautiful world-less world

hard to speak
and hard to hide
what is it that
I cannot say?

You'll Be There

Colours may fade,
luck may lose track,
steps may go the other way,
in my thoughts,
you'll always stay.

Nostalgic Rains

I'd jump so high,
I'd go round and round,
scattering my hair,
feeling every drop of rain,
on my hands and on
my prancing bare feet.

I'd look at the skies,
rub the droplets off my eyes,
I'd smile,I'd giggle
and I'd smile again!

I'd dream the dreams,
I'd scream the screams.

I'd taste the rain,
sweet salty rain,
I'd make a cup of tea,
or a mug of frothy coffee.

I'd hum songs,
or tunes that came from
nowhere!

I'd jump so high,
feeling every drop of rain.
And today,
all I feel is pain.
A bittersweet pain.

three lines

I shed tears of laughter,
and smiles of sorrow.
Wouldn't I see a better tomorrow?

Connections

Sometimes I want to find connections,
I touch the things that you might have touched,
I remember the words you might have said,
I read your older mails over and over again,
just to feel connected,
just to feel you when you aren't there.

Yesterday the scent of a soap made me nostalgic,
isn't that the scent I sensed when you were there?

I find you in colours,I find you in numbers
Isn't this the colour you wore that day?
Isn't this number somewhat like the
one your number-plate had?

I wrap up my wonderings by a single thought,
You're not faraway,I haven't lost you.
You're in the connections I made with you.