Saturday, August 31, 2013

Some Lessons

I have worried myself out for ages, unfotunately these worries were about the things that never actually happened. The insecurities and unnecessary fear of future, only led me to take actions that made everything worse off. 

Fear of the unknown and the consequent measures to minimize uncertainty did the most harm. I took actions to kill uncertainty and made sure I predicted as much as I could about future.

I did minimize uncertainty to a large extent (unluckily) but the decisions that made my life predictable and certain turned out to be the worst decisions of my life.

I learned a few good lessons though, which I would definitely like to share:

  • Don't focus on fear and uncertainties, do what gives a purpose to your life.
  • Don't change your path to make life easier in the short run.
  • Don't shrink your dreams just because you don't know if they will come true or not.
  • Don't absorb the fears and apprehensions of others, they are pessimistic because they can't feel the way you feel about your dreams.
  • Take a stand and make sure you defend what you want from life. Don't let the world discourage you or change your mind. 

Remember, it's you who is responsible for living the life you want. Others cannot choose for you, you have to choose on your own and give it your best.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Will You?

Will you wait for the day to end
so you could see me?
Will I be the one to bring you a smile
On a long long day?
Will I be the rock?
Will I be the sun?
Will you find comfort in me,
When the world hurts you?
Will you seek my words,
When nothing  makes sense?
Will you cherish our moments?
Will you go over my words,
Again and again?
Will you be the constant,
In my ever-changing life?

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Confused and Jobless Youth - A Perspective

Ever wondered why so many young graduates can’t find jobs despite degrees from well-known universities. Some would blame it on the lack of opportunities, poor economy and unstable political conditions of the country but on a micro level there is a serious problem that we overlook.

The problem lies with our parents and universities. Parents want their children to be doctors, engineers or business graduates. Under immense pressure from parents and society, students tend to choose their university degrees in a few saturated fields, without considering their aptitude, interest and personality.

So how do universities add to the problem of jobless graduates? The admission criteria of universities are not what they should be! Universities do look at previous marks and grades and take entry tests which test the general knowledge, science and languages but majority of the universities fail to test the three most important points: 

· Aptitude (with respect to the chosen field ) 
· Interest 
· Personality 

These three decisive points in a person’s career are completely overlooked, and as a result there are university graduates who do manage to complete their university education somehow but fail to find a job. Since employers look for candidates with real aptitude, complimenting personality and check if the candidate is really interested in the field he/she has graduated in, the students with a wrong choice of degree fail to find a job.

To prevent this from happening, parents should let their children decide which career they want to choose. On the other hand, the universities should make changes to their admission criteria, by adding in crucial aspects that test the student’s aptitude and ability in the chosen field, interest of the student and the personality characteristics.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

A girl in Pakistan

Life's pretty different for a girl in Pakistan. And to my surprise, most girls here are happy with it. They have adjusted so much with the ideas and practices of the society that they don't quite question the harshness of it!

I realized all these problems while growing up in a Pakistani society. I have listened to the ideas of people in Pakistan regarding a girl's life.I have observed the thoughts of my own parents and I have also observed the the thoughts of parents of other girls.I have also seen these ideas put into practice which really are absurd and unfair!

Even if a girl is born in a well off family with relatively lenient parents, the life still lacks independence and freedom.Usually, the girl has no say in anything except things like the colour of clothes or the new design of shoes. After high school, if the girl is lucky enough she gets the opportunity of entering college or university. However, the irony is that girls don't get to choose what they would want to study, instead parents take it for granted that it's them who have to decide! So, the girl ends up in a college or university where the parents want their daughter to be and she studies what parents want her to study!

While she's trying to concentrate on working hard for the education her parents have chosen for her, she's told that she's going to get married! This sudden shock is bad because the point of education and dedication starts to seem meaningless. Mainly, this marriage issue erupts because parents somehow discover a good match for the girl and feel that the opportunity will be lost if the girl would be allowed to complete her education(usually a bachelor's degree).The unlucky ones have to leave their education incomplete and end up getting married, to the guy who is chosen by her parents, instead of her. The less unlucky ones get the opportunity to complete their bachelor's education and then they are quickly married off, as if it's a race where the girl will be left behind, if she weren't married off quickly.

After-marriage-situation is not quite optimistic either! The girl just does not have to live her life with a complete stranger who's chosen by her parents, but a whole new group of strangers in a whole new setting.In most situations, the girl is expected to obey her husband and this whole new group of strangers (often known as in laws) in a very submissive and flawless manner. She should completely forget that she is an individual too. She is expected to be perfect and quite a subordinate to them, since they really did a great favour to her, by sending her the proposal of marriage.

While she's trying to adjust in this new environment with new people, she's expected to bring happiness to her in-laws by bringing a new addition to the family! If this is not the case, eye brows are raised and problems are expected in the family. So, before she really gets the hang of things and before she is adjusted, she's already expecting her first child.

After becoming a mother, responsibilities double! Life revolves around the baby, the husband and the in-laws. She gets hardly any time to think of what she was, what she is and what were here dreams. She really finds it hard to get the hang of things, what really happened to her and what really was the purpose of her existence.

I wonder how girls are happy with this sort of life! And I wonder if I would also be like one of those girls, because this is what generally happens. There are exceptions to it for sure but I'm really surprised and demotivated to see girls with this purposeless life.