Thursday, August 18, 2011

A girl in Pakistan

Life's pretty different for a girl in Pakistan. And to my surprise, most girls here are happy with it. They have adjusted so much with the ideas and practices of the society that they don't quite question the harshness of it!

I realized all these problems while growing up in a Pakistani society. I have listened to the ideas of people in Pakistan regarding a girl's life.I have observed the thoughts of my own parents and I have also observed the the thoughts of parents of other girls.I have also seen these ideas put into practice which really are absurd and unfair!

Even if a girl is born in a well off family with relatively lenient parents, the life still lacks independence and freedom.Usually, the girl has no say in anything except things like the colour of clothes or the new design of shoes. After high school, if the girl is lucky enough she gets the opportunity of entering college or university. However, the irony is that girls don't get to choose what they would want to study, instead parents take it for granted that it's them who have to decide! So, the girl ends up in a college or university where the parents want their daughter to be and she studies what parents want her to study!

While she's trying to concentrate on working hard for the education her parents have chosen for her, she's told that she's going to get married! This sudden shock is bad because the point of education and dedication starts to seem meaningless. Mainly, this marriage issue erupts because parents somehow discover a good match for the girl and feel that the opportunity will be lost if the girl would be allowed to complete her education(usually a bachelor's degree).The unlucky ones have to leave their education incomplete and end up getting married, to the guy who is chosen by her parents, instead of her. The less unlucky ones get the opportunity to complete their bachelor's education and then they are quickly married off, as if it's a race where the girl will be left behind, if she weren't married off quickly.

After-marriage-situation is not quite optimistic either! The girl just does not have to live her life with a complete stranger who's chosen by her parents, but a whole new group of strangers in a whole new setting.In most situations, the girl is expected to obey her husband and this whole new group of strangers (often known as in laws) in a very submissive and flawless manner. She should completely forget that she is an individual too. She is expected to be perfect and quite a subordinate to them, since they really did a great favour to her, by sending her the proposal of marriage.

While she's trying to adjust in this new environment with new people, she's expected to bring happiness to her in-laws by bringing a new addition to the family! If this is not the case, eye brows are raised and problems are expected in the family. So, before she really gets the hang of things and before she is adjusted, she's already expecting her first child.

After becoming a mother, responsibilities double! Life revolves around the baby, the husband and the in-laws. She gets hardly any time to think of what she was, what she is and what were here dreams. She really finds it hard to get the hang of things, what really happened to her and what really was the purpose of her existence.

I wonder how girls are happy with this sort of life! And I wonder if I would also be like one of those girls, because this is what generally happens. There are exceptions to it for sure but I'm really surprised and demotivated to see girls with this purposeless life.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

February breeze

This February breeze,
and how it chills my shoulders,
has a touch of past in it!

We may not meet again,
the things may have changed,
for the better or worse,
but remember that I love you

No matter how much I try to evade,
it comes back with a greater force,
a lot may have gone to never return,
but remember that I love you

Having to go on without hope kills,
it hardens the heart,
it disturbs and it shatters,
but I can not let go,
what once came to me.

This February breeze,
and how it chills my shoulders,
has the touch of past in it!