Life's pretty different for a girl in Pakistan. And to my surprise, most girls here are happy with it. They have adjusted so much with the ideas and practices of the society that they don't quite question the harshness of it!
I realized all these problems while growing up in a Pakistani society. I have listened to the ideas of people in Pakistan regarding a girl's life.I have observed the thoughts of my own parents and I have also observed the the thoughts of parents of other girls.I have also seen these ideas put into practice which really are absurd and unfair!
Even if a girl is born in a well off family with relatively lenient parents, the life still lacks independence and freedom.Usually, the girl has no say in anything except things like the colour of clothes or the new design of shoes. After high school, if the girl is lucky enough she gets the opportunity of entering college or university. However, the irony is that girls don't get to choose what they would want to study, instead parents take it for granted that it's them who have to decide! So, the girl ends up in a college or university where the parents want their daughter to be and she studies what parents want her to study!
While she's trying to concentrate on working hard for the education her parents have chosen for her, she's told that she's going to get married! This sudden shock is bad because the point of education and dedication starts to seem meaningless. Mainly, this marriage issue erupts because parents somehow discover a good match for the girl and feel that the opportunity will be lost if the girl would be allowed to complete her education(usually a bachelor's degree).The unlucky ones have to leave their education incomplete and end up getting married, to the guy who is chosen by her parents, instead of her. The less unlucky ones get the opportunity to complete their bachelor's education and then they are quickly married off, as if it's a race where the girl will be left behind, if she weren't married off quickly.
After-marriage-situation is not quite optimistic either! The girl just does not have to live her life with a complete stranger who's chosen by her parents, but a whole new group of strangers in a whole new setting.In most situations, the girl is expected to obey her husband and this whole new group of strangers (often known as in laws) in a very submissive and flawless manner. She should completely forget that she is an individual too. She is expected to be perfect and quite a subordinate to them, since they really did a great favour to her, by sending her the proposal of marriage.
While she's trying to adjust in this new environment with new people, she's expected to bring happiness to her in-laws by bringing a new addition to the family! If this is not the case, eye brows are raised and problems are expected in the family. So, before she really gets the hang of things and before she is adjusted, she's already expecting her first child.
After becoming a mother, responsibilities double! Life revolves around the baby, the husband and the in-laws. She gets hardly any time to think of what she was, what she is and what were here dreams. She really finds it hard to get the hang of things, what really happened to her and what really was the purpose of her existence.
I wonder how girls are happy with this sort of life! And I wonder if I would also be like one of those girls, because this is what generally happens. There are exceptions to it for sure but I'm really surprised and demotivated to see girls with this purposeless life.
5 comments:
Its a fact that so many Pakistani Women lead exactly this trajectory of life!... and the argument is absurd... because it suggests that the sole purpose of a woman's life is to raise a family. I don't disagree that it is indeed a great purpose to serve... but it cannot possibly be the only purpose.
Once the Pakistani society opens up to the idea of women having talents other than those of child bearing... and that this idea does not have to wreak havoc on our social fabric at all, except cutting loose some unfair binds that constrict a woman's being off... I suppose things will be better.
This is what I have seen happening with three of my sisters. The only difference is that they are allowed to do jobs but the situation after marriage gets so complicated that a woman at her child's early age cant be both a good mother and a good professional at the same time especially when the in laws are not supportive...
I think women should have the right to decide for themselves whats the purpose of their existence and where they want to go
its the story of a girl not just in pakistan..but also in india n GOD knows how many other places. its the most unfortunate thing ever. but i think it all depends on the father n the girl herself to decide for her future....unless u ahve more supportive fathers for the girl child, these things will continue. no matter what legislation or referendum u pass...the male mentality has to change for the girl to be independent n think of herself too
I think it's sad.
Islam gives power and rights to women in wedlock. She is married to a man not his whole family. If she does not want to serve them then she has a right to do so. She is married and is bound to look after her husband not necessarily all the inlaws if she does not want to do that. I know the Pakistani ppl do not understand Islam as it should be. This should be discussed before marriage. It is not right that a man leaves his wife to serve his parents and family while he goes to Dubai to work This his wife can refuse to do and move to her parental home, unless he comes back and lives with her. She is not a free slave to serve inlaws.
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